Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Our Date

on July 8, 2008

I’m behind in posting to this blog. When I can’t get to a computer, I write it in a journal the old fashioned way. So, to catch up a bit.

From the first part of 6/2008:

Dirk works shift work while the other three of us word day jobs. He has a problem of feeling left out when the three of us are together without him (I should probably interject that this is soooo much better for him now than it used to be). Therefore, he has the most input of when the four of us can get together. For weekends this is usually when he is on day shift and his one weekend a month off. Unfortunately, these two weekends fall back to back. Dirk has days off during the week and we try to see each other on a couple of those days as well. Even if it is just to have a meal together.

He and Arwen have seen each other alone for a while now. At least they can if they want to. Dirk was traveling the hour to where she works almost every week so that they could have lunch together. Arwe’s job has gotten busier and for a few months and she feels she is too busy now to take off for lunch so that is on hold right now. After these months are over, I fully expect the lunches will start again.

At this point, I should probably give a little background information.

When the four of us decided what we were in this for the long haul so to speak, Dirk still had quite a few issues regarding the relationship between Chane and I. (At this point  Dirk was the one moving at the slowest pace.) Dirk and Arwen had some communication issues to work on that we all felt was of priority. Therefore, we all thought they should have time alone together. Hence the lunches at least. Due to Dirk’s shift work, lunches were more doable than anything else. Because Dirk was having issues about our relationship, Chane and I volunteered to not spend any time alone together for a while. Until Dirk was mostly comfortable with us doing so. It was our choice and not something we were pressured to do. Actually, Chane and I offered to do 3 things Dirk thought would help him. Not seeing each other alone was the only one he requested. We were prepared for this when we volunteered to do things he needed. We felt this would be one of them…

Ok, back on track.

Chane and I finally have spent a few hours on dates. We had planned one for Friday night. I try to choose the lest stressful times for Dirk (Arwen seems ok with things). He’ll be at work Friday evening. I’d hesitate to leave him at home by himself. Things with our date were all fine. Dirk actually seemed to have no problems whatsoever with it. (And I finally believed him about that.) Well, other than remembering it, LOL. Then out of the blue comes my family. For good reasons, this part of my family moved their timetable up to visit. They arrive today and most will leave Sunday. A limited time frame here. Chane and Arwen haven’t met some of them and I want them to. But—-my family does not know about the relationship the four of us have. So, going on a date may cause problems. Knowing that Dirk is at work, my family will expect me to be with them. I cant just tell them I’m going on a date with my other husband. (The reasons why we haven’t told most of our families would take another post.) I don’t lie well. Probably because lies are something I really have a problem stomaching. So….how am i just going to go without any explanation?


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