Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Decisions made

on July 5, 2009

1145533_3d_maze_3Well, after much debate and talks among the group and a talk as a whole group, we are on hold in our relationships.

Dirk, just feels the best way to deal with Arwen at this time is to give her the chance to heal things with Chane before she tries to work things out with him. Arwen can not work on both relationships at once he thinks and I agree with that. She still feels that none of this is her fault and everyone is just blaming her. But the truth is…three people, individually without talk, have come to the same conclusions and have the same issues with her…she is the common denominator and really needs to face that fact that we didn’t all decide we were going to blame her. Her behavior has finally worn thin with all of us and worst she is about to lose two great men unless things change. At this point, Dirk really doesn’t feel like putting any more effort into a relationship where he is the only one trying to make it work.

All Arwen says is that nobody understands her and no one will listen to her. All of which is bullshit. We have all tried to listen and understand. Making excuses are she does.

Anyway, now Chane and I have had to put our relationship on hold as well. Dirk didn’t want that, I didn’t want that and Chane didn’t want that. It is just the reality of the situation. Arwen will pull a tit for tat thing with Chane if he still continues to see me if she can’t see Dirk. She is just not capable of allowing that and though she’ll deny it, we all know that is the truth of the matter as we’ve seen evidence of the “tit for tat” attitude of hers before. Arwen is ok with the relationship Chane and I have as long as she is in such a relationship with Dirk. Chane and I work together at the quality of our relationship and have often had to backtrack from where we’ve gotten because Arwen and Dirk are not at the same place in Dirk  and Arwen can develop things at the pace Chane and I can because it takes two people trying at the same time and Arwen just doesn’t do that.

I miss my boyfriend and things were just put on hold yesterday. I want to see him for 10 minutes, an hour or for 5 hours. And I will miss texting with him throughout our workday. Tomorrow will be difficult for me.

I will try to post tomorrow about how I feel about this and the days and events leading up to this. I’m just so pissed at Arwen right now it isn’t even funny.

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