Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

A Mom's Pain

on September 4, 2009

ist1 6856947 bloody heart

My youngest his hurting emotionally. I absolutely hate that. He and his girlfriend just moved into an apartment together and hour away from where I live so they could attend college. Yes, I know they are young. And I know there will be other girls for him if this doesn’t work out. But that does not stop his pain now.

They have been having the biggest argument I’ve ever seen them have. I do not place all the blame on his girlfriend. I mean, come on, I’m his mother. No matter how much I love him. I do know his faults. He is male, hard headed, knows how to argue to get under your skin, likes to always be right and loves deeply, very giving and loyal.

Bur his girlfriend is exhibiting unusual behavior. Even I’m noticing. Since they moved in (out of her mom’s place and rules keep in mind), she has been wanting to do things she didn’t normally do. This instance, go out with much older women she works with and doesn’t know very well (from her new job) to places she can get into but that serve alcohol she’s legally too young to drink. She will be driving. Add to this, she has apparently not shown good judgment and given my son reasons in the past not to believe her in a situation like this. He feels uncomfortable with this and worries about her. He’s afraid she’ll drink and drive and know neither of them are familiar enough with her new co-workers to know what they would do about this. He won’t be available to go get her himself tonight due to him starting a new job and he’ll be working while she is out. He has told her now uncomfortable he is with this and asked her to think about reconsidering. She told him she wouldn’t even think about it. Said nothing he says will change her mind, that she wants to go and that he can’t control her.

I went and had supper with him last night. The boy is majorly upset and hurt because she is threatening to break up with him. He told me what gets to him the most isn’t that she’s going (though he’ll still worry). It is that she refused to even consider his feelings on the issue. The they didn’t matter to her at all. And I understand that. So,a compromise couldn’t be made—like her going a night his is off and can pick her up if needed. But most of all, he now believes his thoughts a feelings on something do not concern her at all.

Man, I so wanted to wrap my baby up and take him home with me. I even offered to. He said no, he needed to stay there. I would have stayed the night there and driven back this morning for work. He know I’m not a morning person and told me he’d worry if i got on the road that early. Told me he could get some sleep. But he didn’t. I got a text from him at 4am this morning telling me what good parents he has and he was finally going to bed. His girlfriend cane back to the apartment last night instead of staying at her mom’s. Now, I I can’t reach him on the phone. He’s more than likely asleep but I worry he’ll sleep too long to make it to work. He does not need to lose this job he just got.

You’d think with me being in two relationships I would have better advice to give him. Well, I did give him some fairly good advice drawn from my experiences and he actually seemed to take some of it to heart. What I guess I meant was, considering I’m getting so much relationship experience, you would think I could just fix it for him. But I can’t. And I shouldn’t even if I could. Just that’s hard on a mom. So, this morning, this mom is hurting because her son is in pain. And I never see that changing.


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