Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

People Don’t Believe

on September 19, 2009

MAI0002651_Veer Why is it that people can have such a problem believing the truth?

Chane often tells some of the people he works with that he has a girlfriend. They just seem to blow this off. Even if Arwen confirms this they think she is just playing along with his joke. I’ve been to his office and, while I don’t make out with him there, I don’t stop myself from calling him endearments or touching him (I can be a touchy/feelly person). They work in cubicles so they can just talk back and forth. I tell him I love him before I leave. Who do they think I am?

Here’s an example of the four of us out together.

We all four went out to eat and Chane and I needed to go to the restroom when we first got there so, Arwen and Dirk walked in together and had already been led to a table by the time Chane and I got there. It was a semi-circular booth we sat in and the seating arrangement ended up being Arwen on the outside on one side, Dirk next to her, me next to Dirk and Chane on the outside on the other end. So, it could be very logical for a waiter to think that Dirk and Arwen were together and Chane and I were together…we arrived in these pairs and sat next to each other like this.

He was a very personable person and gave great service. At bill time, he was kind enough to at least ask who was together. We told him that Dirk and I (in the middle) were on one ticket and Chane and Arwen (on opposite ends, across each other) were on the other ticket. He said fine but when he returned he still had it wrong. Not an unusual occurrence when we dine out. And I am often tempted to just explain the situation to them but am never sure what the other three would feel about that. While the young man was gone to fix the bills, I told them what I was tempted to do, they didn’t mind at all.

So, when he returned and apologized for the mix up, I told him that was fine…most people got confused. I then pointed to Dirk on my right side and told him that he was my husband and then pointed to Chane on my left side and said he was my boyfriend. He thought I was joking and proceeded to tell me a story about one time some swingers had been there and invited him to join them later. He said it was a good joke I was playing. I looked him dead in the eye and told him I wasn’t joking. He just looked at me. Arwen then pointed to Dirk on her left and told him he was her boyfriend and pointed to Chane across from her and told him he was her husband. He said that’s what she just said (meaning me) and then we explained again who was whose husband and who was whose boyfriend. He just looked at us again and tried to laugh a bit. Took our money and that was it.

We figure he went home that night and just couldn’t decide whether to believe us or not.

I think it is a matter of who really knows you as to if they will believe you or not. We are not really out. I have a very conservative boss and work in small town government. Not a good place to have such a different outlook on life or at least to openly live it. Dirk works at a gossipy place and if they knew there, it would get back to my office and his ultra conservative family. Arwen has a sister that she rarely talks with. But Chane, as I’ve stated in the past, has told his family. His mom and sister are fine…may not get it but that doesn’t matter to them. His dad just won’t really talk about it. But I have to wonder at times, would it matter if we told people at work? Would they be like they are at Chane’s office? Not believe the truth when they have been told?

Now, Chane just has fun with them


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