Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Growing My Relationships

on November 4, 2009

IZI0002374_VeerMy life is in the “life is great” stage with both my husband and my boyfriend. Each of my relationships are growing in ways that make me stop and marvel. The journey here was hard-fought.

Dirk is so encouraging in regards to my relationship with Chane. He seems to be really feeling compersion for me these days. Can any of you who are not poly imagine how loved that makes me feel?

Chane is being…what is the word…attentive? Openly loving? Reaching out to me? I guess all of those explain what he seems to be doing lately. He is calling me more often. Sharing more things with me. Just making me feel loved in general.

Things are good between myself and both my men and I’m basking in this while it lasts. I’m not delusional enough not to know that we will have problems at some point. Any relationship does.

It’s amazing that each relationship feeds the other one I have. A circle is flowing here that Arwen’s behavior this weekend couldn’t really break. It caved a side of the circle for a bit while I let that get to me more than I might should have but, it ended up bouncing off the circle and it forming as it should be again.

I find myself wanting to talk with both of them throughout the day. Previously, I may have wanted/needed to talk with one more than the other depending on how my relationship with each was going. I’m in such a good place with both of them that my wants and needs for each are on more of an equal footing. I miss them both while I am at work. I look forward to possibly hearing from each of them throughout the day. I’m usually in touch with Chane a bit more during the day than Dirk but, I get to spend time with Dirk personally more each day for the most part.

Chane went to church with me while both Dirk and Arwen worked Sunday morning. I can not explain how important that was to me. How much I enjoyed spending time with him doing that. I have never been to church with Chane before. I enjoyed doing the same with Dirk the week before even though we both have spent many hours in church together in the past. I very much look forward to the day I can attend church with the both at the same time. I very much look forward to being able to claim a relationship with both of them at this church.

Speaking of claiming a relationship with both of them at the same time…we all got together with friends Monday night and in this group was a new young woman. I got to introduce Dirk as my husband and Chane as my boyfriend. Awesome! Yes, as many of you know, I think of Chane more as another husband but, he has such fun with the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. Besides, as hard as the concept is for some to get the having a husband and a boyfriend, is seems to be harder for some reason for them to understand the concept of two husbands. Does that make sense to me? No. Both “labels” say I have two men in my life that I love.

I am such a lucky woman. All the time…whether things are going well all around or not. But I float on a cloud for a bit when things are going as they are now.

My heart is overflowing with the love I am getting from them both. And the love I am feeling for both of them.

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