Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Out Of Sync

on January 16, 2010

If Dirk and I where performing an acrobatic act, it would be bad. We wouldn’t be able to manage anything that took timing.

We haven’t been arguing or anything but…things are not right. In anything we do. Talking, sex or spending quality time together.

We discussed it a little this morning and he said we were “out of sync”. Not long after that we had a prior commitment to fulfill and didn’t get back to this.

So, what exactly did he mean? If that’s how you want to describe things with us, I’d have to say that, although our lives are intertwined, it’s our whole lives that are a little out of sync.

We have been having so much going on. Youngest having his first semester in college, him getting a car (with payments we’ll have to make if he can’t), financial worries, work worries and still trouble between Dirk and Arwen. Is it any wonder that we are a bit off?

These issues are not going anywhere. So, what are we to do? What is the key to allowing us to get “us” back and not let the ball drop on these other things? It requires time and effort and I’m not blessed with a lot of time with Dirk and I’m so tired that effort seems impossible.

None of the issues have anything to do with being poly. Well, other than Dirk is unhappy with how things are progressing with Arwen. Normally he is able to talk about his worries and fears and frustrations with me. He hasn’t been doing that because he says I’ve had enough on my plate to worry about. It truly sucks that he has not come to me. I understand why he hasn’t but it isn’t good.

Now, I know we will get past this, we always get past things.  But I really need the security of what we have at this moment.

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2 responses to “Out Of Sync

  1. letseatcake! says:

    The only way being poly might be affecting your relationship is “time spent.”

    I notice that when Luke and I are out of sync, if we spend good, quality time togheter, the issues seem to vanish. This is really hard to do when we’re both seeing other people. We have our “date nights,” but sometimes those are just watching a movie and passing out.

    Can you spend like 2 consecutive days toghether?

    • ourquad says:

      Yeah, it’s the quality time. He works shift work and has been working 12 hour days, leaving him tired. We’ll get the quality time. We’ll make it happen. Once one of realizes this is happening, all we have to do is mention it to the other and we work on it.

      His shift work makes it harder for him to spend time with Kitten than me. Afterall, Dirk and I do live together.

      I always appreciate comments from you.

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