Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Better Frame of Mind

on February 11, 2010

I’m in a better frame of mind today and that’s a good thing.

I was able to talk with Chane some yesterday. Not in person as I would have preferred but, through emails, which made it easier to say more than text messages could at least.

I also had the opportunity to speak with Dirk as well. Both discussions helped in different ways and I’m thankful that they are willing to open up to me. I know that’s hard for them. One reason being they both need time to think about what they are going to say. They both have to have time to process things.

I truly am feeling better but I know I’ll still struggle with the fact that I don’t know when I’ll be able to spend “date” time with Chane. I need more structure than that. It helps me to know that I have a definite time in the future that I will be seeing him. It’s very easy to get disconnected the way things have been lately.

I think I got in such a funk because I haven’t even had the normal amount of communication with Chane. We haven’t texted as much lately and have not talked on the phone at all. There are legitimate reasons, and while I understand them, it is still difficult at times.

I need quality time with both Dirk and Chane. I don’t make apologizes for that at all. In fact, I think that is a healthy thing for a relationship.

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