Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

My Lightbulb Wasn’t Plugged In All The Way

on February 18, 2010

First, I’m going to stay here I believe. Dirk is correct and I’ve had some good advice from readers.

Second, I have been a little dim concerning Arwen. As one who suffers from depression myself, I should have seen that was part of the problem for Arwen. Maybe most of her problem. We are so different and I do not understand her for real, but I believe I may have gotten caught up in that alone.

Arwen does not like to take medication. I really can not tell you the why of that because I’ve never gotten an explanation I can understand from her. She stopped taking the medication her doctor had her on for depression and I didn’t connect that. I should have I guess because I take the same thing she was taking. Neither of us can take the most effective medications for depression due to the side effects we suffer. She started taking her meds again and is doing better. It “takes the edge off’ she says. And I can really understand that. It keeps a person calm enough, for the most part, to not react until you’ve thought for a minute. That minute can make a huge difference in things.

I think she was doing ok without the meds while she was in therapy. It helped give her a chance to think things out. But, although the therapist felt she had dealt with the issue she was seeing him about, once she wasn’t able to go any more, things started stacking up on her. I’ve been there. I even need to take a higher dose of the medication than she needs. I’ve suffered from depression for a long time and haven’t always taken anything for it. I do know what it is like and feel I should have recognized some of this for what it was.

I do know that it is still Arwen’s goal to not take this medication. And, while that is her right, it is just another area we differ. I accept my need for the meds and am grateful for the help they provide me.

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