Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Self-Confident and Sex-Positve Women vs The Alpha Male

on February 20, 2010


A fellow blogger wrote this post and I’ve been thinking since I commented on her blog. There were many thoughtful comments and I suggest you read those as well. However, here is my comment and the topic of my blog came from this.

I find it’s true, in my opinion, that the self-confident woman is threatening to some men. Add the sex-positive aspect to that and a woman can be very threatening. Why is that do you suppose? I’m sure you’ll know that I have an opinion on this from my comment to the mentioned blog (if you chose to read it).

While my friend here believes this is something God himself has done, I disagree. I believe making women feel ashamed and guilty of her sexuality has historically been the acts of men using God’s word (inappropriately at best) to further their own agenda. And a big part of that agenda, to me, is the need for control. The need to be superior over another human being. You may wonder why this would be necessary. Well, I believe it is the acts of men that aren’t themselves self-confident. Men who can’t find self-worth in who they are without the control and the feeling of superiority.

Like I stated in my comment to this blog, I feel a true alpha male doesn’t have this problem. He is confident enough in his abilities, his self worth, and his own sexuality to support and encourage the same in the opposite sex. He is not threatened by women who exhibit some of his own behavior and qualities. He knows the path it takes to get to such a point and he respects those who have made the journey. The alpha male takes care of those around him without the need to discourage. He will respond to a challenge or a threat, true, but I feel he finds neither in a woman such as described here.

If looked at closely in nature, you will see that it is the alpha female that attracts an alpha male.

Do I have such alpha males in my life? Yep, I think I do. Neither are threatened by this behavior in either of their women. Though their women may, at times, fall down on the job of believing in themselves. We are encouraged to do so from them.


2 responses to “Self-Confident and Sex-Positve Women vs The Alpha Male

  1. IntrigueMe says:

    I love this post. I completely agree with your statements. Personally, I am super attracted to THAT sort of Alpha-Male. I love a strong man’s man but also someone who isn’t afraid of a confident me. I do feel though, that I am not yet attracting that kind of man. While I am normally confident- it wavers. *sigh* you’ll never hear me admit this again so please don’t rub it in… but it’s probably because of my age. I’m 24- I’m confident and I’ve been through a heck of a lot for my years BUT I’m just now in that part of my life where things are finally GOOD, I’m HAPPY… and now I’m off to discover who I am when I don’t have obstacles and tradegies to overcome. Who is Sarah now that life isn’t trying to burry her alive? Eventually that confidence will stop wavering and I’ll be the person I was meant to be- 100% of the time. Then I can go find me own my alpha-male.

    • ourquad says:

      I’m almost twice your age (46 in May) and I still have my moments. You are doing far better than I am. At your age, I wasn’t even aware that I had grown enough to notice I wasn’t as confident as I would like to be. I’m better now and I’m more self-aware.

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