Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

The Talk Is Scheduled For This Weekend

on May 19, 2010

That talk I wrote about a few months ago is supposed to happen this weekend.

I have been so very close to ending things with Chane because he just can not seem to do this. As I’ve stated, both here and to him, I feel this is essential to me and to the health of our relationship.

I’m nervous about how things are going to go. I hope he has thought of all the answers to the questions. I will do my best not to add questions to those I’ve already posed. I may have to ask questions to clarify his answers or to make sure I am understanding what he is saying.

I’ve debated and debated whether I am asking too much of him. And I’ve worried that it is unreasonable for me to ask this. It may be too much for him to cope with but I do not feel that it is an unreasonable request. It may be that he and I just can not come to a meeting of the minds and our relationship styles and personalities just do not mesh. Not something that is either his fault or mine.

It will just boil down to the fact that love is not always enough.

As much as I hope the outcome is more positive than this, I am preparing myself for the worst. I don’t believe, or want, the worst to be the outcome but I feel I have to be prepared to end things if there isn’t a better choice.

I really hope that things work out for us. I hope this is a healing talk.

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2 responses to “The Talk Is Scheduled For This Weekend

  1. I was in the same spot as you and scared to death to talk to my husband. He handled it like a champ and what problems we did encounter we dealt with together and 4 years later we have an amazing open marriage. I was at the point though where if he had said no I knew I wasn’t going to be able to continue because I know that it’s a part of who I am.

    • Yes, I’m nervous and scared. Chane is my boyfriend but I don’t like that term. It just doesn’t convey what he means ro me properly. He’s more like another husband in a way. And as such, I need commitment from him. He asked for that in the past but there are limitations put on our relationship that he doesn’t appear to want to deal with. I can’t live with that any more. No matter how much I love him.

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