Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

I Miss My Blog

on June 5, 2010

I haven’t been posting much lately. I just can not seem to get my thoughts settled enough to write. At least not in a constructive, healthy way.

I’ve said that I am having health issues and I still am. They’ve zapped my energy and that in itself doesn’t lead to thinking coherently.

Then there is the relationship issues I’ve been facing. I’m not prepared to speak of these things without it sounding one-sided at the least. Most of the time I try to temper things with respect for others feelings and thoughts. I just do not feel capable of that at the moment. I feel too strongly about some things.

I have to wonder if both of these things…the health problems and the relationship problems…are related. I think the one exasperates the other. I don’t deny that I feel things are at a crossroads with Chane and I, but Dirk (as well as some re-reading on the health things) has helped me see that I may not be seeing things in the “normal” perspective. Therefore, I’m trying my best not to make too many life changing decisions regarding much of anything at this time. It’s easier for me to see how the one effects the other now that some of the health issues are seeing the light of day.

I feel that eventually things will be changing in several areas of my life. What those changes end up being and how drastic they will be is still up in the air. Dirk and I have talked and both of us have things we would like to see go in a different direction. We’ve reached a point in our lives that we’ve realized we need to stop trying to live as if things are the same as they’ve always been. I mean, really, we do not even have children that live at home any more. Many things are not the same and I feel we are trying to live as if they are and things just not syncing so to speak. Are we just not letting go of that stage of our lives?

Do I have too many things going on to really be able to find my muse for writing? I miss it though. I realize more than ever what I get from this but I just am having a difficult time getting something solid going.

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3 responses to “I Miss My Blog

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