Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

I’m Happy With Things

on August 3, 2010

After my last post and the comments to it, I have been doing some thinking (as I said I would).

In the past, I’ve wanted more from Chane than he is willing or able to give. I wanted another primary relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am willing to be a secondary for him. And now I’ve come to the conclusion that I am happy with that.

It is working for me at the moment and it seems that he can surprise me at times with the effort he makes and the things he says. I found the key to be, not to take things as more than they mean at the time. Also, I’m still learning and remembering (even after all these years) that he just does not function the same as Dirk.

He grew up very differently than both Dirk and I. He has a very different personality, part of which is directly related to that upbringing.

And he and Arwen do not have the same type relationship as Dirk and I. And it has taken both Dirk and I a while to get a grasp on their interactions with each other. They are so different than ours that we couldn’t fathom how they made things work at all. Though I still do not feel they are as close as Dirk and I. But we have always been close and love to spend time doing things together. (And that was a major adjustment to poly for us…not spending the majority of our free time together.)

But,  with all that is going on in my life at the moment, I am happy with the changes in my attitude regarding my relationship with Chane and the relationship itself. I guess I needed the feedback from others to make me finish my thoughts and feelings on this. Thank you all.

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