Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Things Are Changing

on January 19, 2011

Changes are ahead for Chane and I. And, truthfully, I am surprised.

I clearly stated in written form what I need/want from this relationship and from him. I wasn’t rude, mean or really emotional as I had hit that point of being Ok with any way things turned out for us. I was thoroughly prepared for things to end because I didn’t believe he was willing to try this.

I was told differently.

He wants a relationship with me even if Arwen and Dirk do not work things out. He says he has talked with her. I have to believe that because he is actively discussing with me how we can make things work within this new dynamic. Dates, sleep overs and all things involved. When he asked had I thought of how we will find the opportunities for intimate time (we can figure out the other time together), I had to say that I hadn’t given it much thought. That I was surprised he wanted me outside of the group setting. But I assured him I would work on this with him. And I will.

Apparently, he still wants those once a week dates as well.

Things have been rough with he and I. I haven’t felt really wanted for me, as an individual, in a very long time. I told him what I need and he is responding with a true effort to work with me. I chose to give this a chance.

Slowly. In a way, I believe that we need to treat this as a new beginning, a new relationship in some ways, so that we can work on things. We are so used to the group setting and changing that dynamic will be strange at first. We may find that neither of us, or one of us, isn’t able to do this. I know that. But, trying is going to be worth it to me.

And it will be a change for Arwen and Dirk. Time we spent as a group will be time Chane and I will now spend alone and leaving them at home.

Just going to try to take things slowly but really start making the changes.



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