Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Better Than the Fairy Tale

on January 26, 2011

I was discussing the “fairy tale” relationship with a friend this morning. It lead me to thinking I should follow up on my original post about this.

We started talking about a relationship that would just “fall” into place. One that really didn’t require work…it was food for thought and not something we expect to find. Though we both are currently in relationships that are about as close to this as you can get I guess.

Then we mentioned the fairy tale. And soul mates. But I want to share with you what I told her were my thoughts on the fairy tale.

I think I really believed in the fairy tale before. My sisters still seem to. Particularly the one who has two divorces. They don’t get our poly lifestyle at all for the most part.

Here’s the better than the fairy tale part my title refers to. There is something to be said for knowing your partner chooses to be with you each day when they wake up. To know he is there because he wants to be….not because some unseen “force” is holding him there.  Accepting that he doesn’t have to be with you, that you aren’t “entitled” to his presence or his love, as the fairy tale implies, but yet you find him there every day…day after day with plans for the future with you, makes the finding him there  amazing.

Knowing he wants to be with you and consciously makes the decision to be there actually reaffirms the love you have for each other. It keeps it a constant, awesome thing in the forefront of your life. And helps you to truly be grateful for that love and the person who holds it for you.

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4 responses to “Better Than the Fairy Tale

  1. Pang says:

    Love is just not love its more then that.

  2. Becca says:

    I absolutely agree. I believe that part of what makes love, part of what separates lasting love from infatuation, is that we choose it. I choose to be with my husband every day, even on the days he infuriates me. I don’t always have butterflies in my stomach, though the longer we are together the more often he makes me giddy. We’ve been through some rough patches, had a rough time looking for our third. All the romantic cliches are real thoughts I have – I can’t imagine my life without him, want to grow old together and wake up next to him every morning. But I also know that it is up to us to grow our relationship each day, to build our life together. And now we are hoping our boyfriend will stay, will choose to live with us each day. I consider that choice to be essential to love, and I value it far higher than butterfles.

    • Very nicely said!

      I’ve talked with my monogamous son about this lately. Relating it to his type of relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are poly or not, it’s that you don’t have “certain rights” just because you are in a relationship. You still have to make this choice each day.

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