Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Speak Up

on February 5, 2011

I’m using some things to illustrate what I feel should happen in relationships. Poly or otherwise.

Speak up when you should and especially when you are asked to.

I don’t know why Arwen wanted Chane there for the talk she and Dirk were having. I know now why he said he wanted me there once Chane was going to sit in. He was feeling ganged up on.

That weekend, Chane said he felt any talking I did went fine. During the accusations, he said that he felt both Dirk and I were telling Arwen she was wrong and wouldn’t see her point. I feel he should have said something at the time.

The truth of the matter is that neither Chane or I should have been there. We are too close to the situation. If Dirk and Arwen needed help they should have gotten outside help.

This is hindsight for me. At the time, I didn’t want to do this, I think that all involved knew that. But once committed I was determined to help as best I could. I feel Chane needed to help more. I even asked him for help a few times.

After it was all over, I was outside on the porch and Arwen came out. I asked her if she had felt I not been impartial (do not remember the exact wording) but she claimed I had. If she didn’t think so, I had given her the perfect opportunity to tell me so.

In fact, if she thought I wasn’t being fair during the talk, she should have said so. The same goes for Chane.

I feel good communication is NOT holding things back and then throwing them around in accusations later.

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One response to “Speak Up

  1. IntrigueMe says:

    Ugh. There’s nothing I hate more than people who won’t speak up and say something to your face (or flat out lie to you), then complain about it later. Grow. Some. Balls. !!

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