Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Communication: Sending Messages

on February 17, 2011

I’ve been doing a bit of research and have found three basic components of communication—-sending messages, receiving messages and barriers to effective communication.

Today we will look at sending messages.

We send messages via verbal, non verbal and paraverbal (new word I learned) ways and we need to be consistent in how we are sending our messages.

1. Verbal: the words we use. Using words that blame, criticize, judge and accuse will often create a defensive response. These aren’t conductive to good communication, particularly in problem solving.

We need to use words that are positive in some way and at the least words that are neutral.

When talking our messages need to be stated as briefly and succinctly as possible so that we aren’t getting tuned out. This is your chance to help the listener understand your point of view.

2. Nonverbal: These messages hold so much power. We are constantly communicating through body language—-even if we aren’t aware of this.

Nonverbal messages are the primary way we communicate emotions and facial expressions are how we do this the most. Add in posture and gestures and we are saying a lot without saying a word!

3. Paraverbal: These messages are transmitted through tone, pitch and pacing in our words. It is how we say something not what we say.

For example, the statement. “I didn’t say you were stupid” has different meanings depending on which word is emphasized.

“I didn’t SAY you were stupid.”

“I didn’t say YOU were stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were STUPID.”

For effective communication we need to send consistent verbal, parverbal and nonverbal messages. All forms need to match what we are trying to convey. Otherwise, it will be confusing to the listener.

Next I’m going to talk about receiving messages.


3 responses to “Communication: Sending Messages

  1. I am so bad at this! Well, I can be a good communicator when I feel as though the other person is doing so also… but if I feel any sort of frustration it all goes out the window. My friends have always told me that my emotions are always plain to see on my face. I can’t hide them, nor am I very good at censoring my words. I’m too blunt for my own good.

  2. I’ve been accused of bluntness myself. And that isn’t exactly bad. I suppose that could be called brief and succinct. LOL

  3. […] Differently- A good approach for effective work communication is to explain concepts in multiple ways. Use different words or incorporate visual aids to help convey a message. Difficult concepts […]

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