Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Are We Ready?

on June 1, 2011

Where does the time go?

I’ve been meaning to tell you that Dirk and I had a conversation about where we are. Had to take a drive to do it but we had it.

We aren’t on separate paths but more like on paths that cross each other right now. He’s been weighing the pros and cons of both swinging and poly. At this time, I feel he sees more pros in the swinging area than I do. Not a bad thing.

The truth is, we are both still feeling out how we are feeling about intentionally setting out to live poly or in some way non-monogamous. We want to have our eyes open as we traverse whatever path we each individually and collectively  chose to take.

At this time, we’ve basically come to some conclusions. We don’t have to chose one or the other. We can do both. We aren’t giving someone all the control again. We want to proceed slowly. And I did voice thoughts on making sure we actually proceed if we chose and not get caught up in the slowly process.

I don’t know that either of us know fully where we want to go from here.

We miss the social aspects of being with others. Yet, our life is busy right now with obligations of a family sort.

I can live monogamous with him if that’s what it comes down to. I just don’t want to do so because we were afraid to enter the fray once again.

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9 responses to “Are We Ready?

  1. IntrigueMe says:

    Whatever you choose to do, things never turn out exactly as you plan for them to… so if you go in open minded and willing to go wherever your desires take you, then I’m sure you’ll end up in a good place. 🙂

  2. Sharon says:

    TIME AND PLACE! While some insist that one lifestyle is better than the other, I’m more of the opinion that there can be a time and place for all. Just because you start down one road, it doesn’t mean you need to rule out the option that other paths may be more attractive or a better choice for the current situation. Sometimes you just have to take the truck off the paved road and into the rocky desert, just because it’s fun.

  3. Saminsac says:

    I believe if you and your spouse agree and communicate continually thru-out the open arrangement it would be as successful and maybe more successful than any traditional monogamous relationship. Its obvious that all relationships require a tremendous amount of work. I think you can enjoy other people and remain in love with your spouse or partner as long as you are honest with and keep no secrets from them. When monogamy works and does for many couples, it’s fantastic. Monogamy doesn’t work for everyone, look around you. Hopefully you can discover what works best for you and your spouse or partner.

    • We communicate well and haven’t been strictly monogamous for about six years. Thing is we DID do monogamy well. So it all works. We are at a crossroads of sorts and just thinking about if we want to take one particular path or a combination.

  4. Mrs. Pan says:

    My husband and just opened our marriage. It is quite the journey.

  5. […] Are We Ready? (lovingmorethanone.wordpress.com) […]

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