Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Not Myself Lately?

on August 11, 2011

I’ve may have mentioned that I’ve been “down in my back” lately. It’s been going on a month now I would wager in varying degrees of pain. This has caused numerous other problems within my body. And frankly, I’m just plain tired of all that.

And I’ve had stress at work to say the least.

So, I’ve been told I have not been myself. I can even agree with that to some extent. But I’m still fundamentally me.

I may not be as diplomatic as I normally try to be. I may not have quite the patience I have at other times.

But I don’t think that I am so much off me. Lord, my children would have said something if that were the case. 🙂

Maybe I am demanding. I’ve stated as such here before. I can be high maintenance in the emotions department.

Do you know something? I’ve stated that I may live monogamously. Why? Because I’m stressing over a relationship that I was worried about starting in the first place? Because I thought about something someone said even when I felt my “rule?” or whatever was correct for me? I don’t know. Because it is just fucking easier? I don’t know.

So, now, I’m having to back off some from a friend. And I truly wonder at times if that friendship will ever be as open and free again.

Now that is sad and frankly irritating.

 

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