I’ve been chatting with some couples latey about poly and what they are facing as far as issues within that. One couple is fairly new in a relationship. He started seeing her towards the end of a primary relationship he was in (this wasn’t the cause of the breakup). The woman, though never being in a relationship exactly of this nature, is more than open to it. She has in fact been a secondary of sorts in a couple of relationships (including this one to begin with).
He is interested in seeing others and would like to pursue that. Actually intends to as this was the agreement they’ve had. She is fine with how casual things have been in the past for them as well.
She currently seems to be struggling with him seeing others and is trying to determine why it is bothering her now. It is my opinion that thngs have changed somewhat between them recently. They’ve had the chance to see each other more frequently and the dynamics are shifting. It is becoming in a sense more of a primary relationship for each of them.
My opinions (for what that is worth) is:
1. She would be fine if things stayed casual.
2. It can get confusing when you don’t know the context of a relationship or when it is changing. So, she may just need to know what it is they are building.
Actually, I question starting multiple reltionships concurrently. Maybe because I question my own ability to do so. I felt the need to solidify what I had with Chane before I could begin seeing someone else (even if seeing others had been agreed to).
What do you think? Is it best to have a foundation in each of your relationships before beginning another or it doesn’t matter to you?