Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Thought Question #715

I’ve thought about this and I think I just keep coming back to this one thing.


If you have that for whomever you are in a relationship with, I feel the rest of what’s needed follows. Regardless of the type of relationship it is.

I actually have three guidelines or criteria for a romantic relationship: respect, trust and integrity (love is a given in this situation I suppose). If you have those for someone, I truly believe that it can work.

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One Year Mark

Well, today marks one year since the breakup. It took me a remarkably long time to get any kind of closure on that. And I still find I think of Chane (and Arwen too at times) more than may be normal. I don’t know. I’m never sure what normal really is any longer.

Dirk thinks of them and does miss some of our fun times but he really misses Chane. He doesn’t have many friends like he was with him.

Chane’s birthday was particularly rough for me and I’m not sure why.

Our oldest son even misses them at times and has re-established contact with Chane. I’ve very thankful that Chane has talked with him. I don’t ask about what just in case any of you were wondering. 🙂

Dirk and I aren’t in other relationships at the moment. Life has just gotten in the way of that. We are too busy surviving by working all that we can to have the time or finances to get out and about. It seems every time we think we are going to get at the least caught up, something else happens.

I’m a little at my wits end about that. A couple of things have gone right so far this new year so I keep telling myself that this is our year. That is will all get solved this year.

I do hope that I am not as bad as one friend has told me…otherwise, I’m headed for a hospitalization from a breakdown. Some days it does seem too much but mostly I just think we will make it through.

Back on topic….there are times I wonder how Chane and Arwen are fairing in life. Hoping things are going well for them and their family.

Dirk and I don’t avoid mentioning them to each other at all. We have some great memories of them.

There are times I wonder did I do all that I could have done to make it work.

There are times I regret how I ended things.

There are times I know I did the right thing and times I question it.

All these times are fewer than they used to be. But I wonder if they will ever completely go away. I’m starting to doubt it. Chane was a very important part of my life. You just don’t forget that and never think of it again. At least I don’t.



Death and Life

One of our dogs died a few weeks ago. Though we had been preparing ourselves for it due to his age and condition, it was difficult. It’s hard to watch a loved pet go through this. He wasn’t in pain but lost the ability to eat and drink. I wasn’t prepared for that.

Our other dog has been lonely since then. And though we were not much interested in getting another dog at this time, he just wasn’t his normal self and that wasn’t a good thing to watch either.

So, after thinking, we decided to get him an companion. If we were going to get one, we both leaned way towards a smaller breed this time. Much easier to have those inside for one thing. We started looking at shelters. Rescue dogs are so rewarding.

Yesterday, I sent a pic to Dirk of a dog I had found online at one of the shelters nearby and he absolutely did not like it. Thought he was ugly. Knowing that shelters may not post pics of all that is available online he visited a couple. Ended up at the one that had the dog I sent him the info on. And that man came home with him! I was so surprised and felt him pulling at my heart almost immediately. Come to find out his picture did not do the cutie justice and his personality caught Dirk’s attention. Add to that he is an older dog, past what most people will adopt. He’s a mixture of a couple of breeds.

He and Dirk are now a part of a mutual admiration society and our current dog and he get along great. A happy addition to our family. And it’s lifted the spirits of Dirk and I as well. And our children. We all have been missing our pet and this helped us heal somewhat.

Aren’t pets amazing?