Loving More Than One

Polyamory as it relates to my life and written from my perspective only. MY thoughts, feelings and opinions.

My life has gotten so busy!!

I’m sorry to have been so long in posting here. It isn’t as if I haven’t wanted to. The truth is that most of my online activity has been curtailed due to my time being occupied in other ways.

Dirk and I have started a business endeavor together and I’ve started one on my own. You could probably say I’ve started two on my own if I were getting paid for the crochet I’m doing at this time. But, it’s difficult for me to turn down my family when they state they would like something. My sisters are basically my best girlfriends and my mother is….well, my mother. (And she has already told me what she would like made for Christmas.—-gotta love her.)

My free time being quite a bit more scarce these days has helped in my effort to adjust my thought processes on my relationship with Chane. I don’t push him any more and it seems that he’s just fine with the amount of contact we have (which is considerable less). I told him at least a month a go how my attitude and, therefore, my actions were taking a change of course. I explained why I had finally come to the conclusions I have and why it had taken me so long to get there. He has not commented on that at all even when this week I brought up the fact that he had never addressed that. I suppose that should just reiterate why I needed to make the changes in my thought processes to correlate to what he is interested in giving me.

As I write this, it is still a bit sad to me that this is the case. That he can not bring himself to fight for a few of the promises he gave me. And it makes me wonder if, all along, those promises were actually only if I had a romantic relationship with Arwen as well. For each time I try to pinpoint when things changed in his attitude it all comes down to when I told Arwen I loved her but I wasn’t ‘in love’ with her. That is when I can first start seeing the changes. And it did take me a while to truly pinpoint that. Oh well, I have been happy with my relationship with Dirk.

I wonder if these new business endeavors will lead to an end of things with Chane? As it becomes more and more apparent that he isn’t making efforts to keep in touch with me and passes up opportunities to see me, I can’t afford to put so much effort into trying to make things work with him. It is becoming more and more obvious that I have been the one to keep the communication going between us. He’ll come up with an excuse for that if I mention it to him. Something about not wanting to interfere with what I’m doing. Things of that nature are his MO. But a text to let me know he is thinking of me never interferes.


Dates and Life

Within the last week we have had a quad date that went amazingly well. I think we were all looking forward to that. And I had an individual date with Chane. It was good as well.

I think things are settling in for the moment.

I had so much free time and I’m slowly starting to fill those hours with the business ventures I’m trying out. Which is part of the reason I’ve not been posting and even reading online as much as I was. That part I miss but I hope to better adjust my time once I get used to things.

Also, I’m not having alot of drama in my life especially in regards to poly and I need to learn to write about normal life in an interesting way.

Dirk has been working so many hours that I feel as if I haven’t really spent any time with him. And I’m sure Arwen feels the same. We don’t even get to talk with him that much. This should be over soon at his work and I know that his whole department is worn out and they are all looking forward to some time off. I look forward to some quality time with him.

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Our Anniversary

Dirk and I celebrated (hmmmm……we haven’t had the chance to do anything special though) our 26th wedding anniversary yesterday. I’ve been with this man a total of 28 years. WOW! We rock.

I love him so much and love that we are traveling this road together. The road we started years ago has had a ride that’s had it smooth, tranquil parts, some bumpy parts, some rather hilly parts and we’ve had to travel through some hurricane weather. We are still traveling our road together.

I love you, Baby!